Sonal Kalra Don’t Waste Precious Space of Print Media

For a long while we have been tolerating amateurish write ups of Sonal occupying space in The Hindustan Times, but thankfully on magazine page. The most frivolous topics have been picked up and also have been dealt with in a vague nondescript manner. Loading them with childish opinions and biases and bereft of any value for the reader apart from generating irritation. The attempt at humour is weak and of the lowest kinds where digs are taken at personality types.

Sonal, you really need to rise at least to mediocrity level and till then, take cooling off period. In my two recent sojourns by Shatabdi while travelling, I carried several old papers with me to while away my 4 hours, but after reading two of her articles, it was actually vile. I would particularly like to refer to the one directed at people using certain phrases which she considered beneath her contempt. Most of the phrases were oft used ones by intelligent thinking beings. You can split hair in any language and laugh at its peculiarities but not ridicule people for using an acceptable, well-mannered construct.

The article today is too inane to be commented upon. She alone knows the phrases’ cutie pie, cry babies or tantrum throwers’. The details are meandering and meaningless. Till you develop a style and have reasonable content to contribute, kindly desist from ‘columnising’. This term has just been invented by me to express the extent of our suffering. Let the columnists do the job while you observe and learn.

Please Sonal dear, don’t take this article personally as I do not take those written by you. Do work on yourself.

Best Wishes

meera unplugged

Have We Forgotten to Appreciate Our Men?

We have come a long way from the coy, ever willing, ever obedient, compliant, all-purpose woman – ie a maid, cook, governess, ayah and wife all rolled into one. We are all this and much more. In our relentless march forward and hard-won freedom we have almost trampled upon the almost neglected men. We have forgotten that the struggle was for equality not annihilation. There’s an inherent dichotomy within us. On one hand we are demanding equality and on the other we are shouting hoarse for reservation and special treatment. We are at war within ourselves.

The battle is almost won but we have become vindictive and greedy. We have stepped beyond equality, it’s almost reverse discrimination which isn’t likely to solve any problem. We would again err on the other side and resultantly still have an imbalanced society. We need to tone down the rhetoric and allow the society to settle around this new burgeoning order of level playing field. If we are spoilt sports and demand unreasonably, then in all likelihood debates like ‘Stephens right in reserving seats for boys’ will be triggered.

It’s now fashionable and in sync with times for women not to know how to cook, knit or sew. Every cultured man worth his salt is expected to cook, change nappies,tidy house, run errands and contribute to household chores. A woman can go scot-free under the name of liberation after making lewd remarks on any male counterparts physique whereas man will be slapped with sexual harassment charges. We still expect them to change tyres, pay bills, support our lifestyle and fight for our honour.

Shouting hoarse about Equality and expecting special treatment are contradictory and counter productive. We need to develop clarity as to what we want. Chivalry and gallantry or hard-hitting competition and total equality. Men have definitely raised the bar and winds of change are blowing, but it’s also time for women to not up the ante and drop the shrill tirade and relax their stance. The enhanced status is here to stay so don’t spoil it by turning into a shrew.

A woman adds to her worth and merit if she, in race for level playing field, retains  her intrinsic charm and sweetness. She has already proved herself and will not gain much by pulling down men. It’s time for women also to allow the natural differences between the two to to be accepted instead of ironing them. In this acceptance and understanding of our differences will lie our eventual respect and regard for each other. Hence it’s time to declare ceasefire and enjoy the fruits of well-earned and retained equality.

Satyamev jayate – An Exercise in Image Building

You definitely could not ignore the show due to media frenzy surrounding it. It was coupled by ‘in your face ‘ campaign by Reliance group highlighting their corporate social responsibility. The show created enough buzz to kickstart some more shows on it, a frenzy of activity, accolades and predictably some arrests. The issue is grave enough to merit attention and is to be taken seriously not as a feverish result of a hyped popular show.

Amir Khan has done well to highlight it and bring it to fore but the tackling still remained TRP based, that is base. Parading around women who have been chewed or pushed down the stairs, sniffs, back thumping and applause are time-tested methods of jacking up the ratings. Here steps the business acumen of Amir who very methodically worked for its success. His star power was a sure draw. It did its bit in notching up the viewership.

Before we deify Amir, it’s better to be realistic about the purity of his motives. The show has done several things for him. To begin with it has given his image a make over as a conscientious actor, it has been a huge publicity stunt, his brand value has doubled and so has his monetary worth! ouch, it anyway hurt. he further collaborated with Reliance group which added to his contact power as well. They worked in tandem, each riding on and gaining from other.

It was a win – win situation for both. Neeta Ambani showing her compassionate front to society albeit crudely and Amir the crowd puller, the man with a mission gloriously exposing to society heinous faces of the perpetrators of this crime. It was nothing short of CID or Crime Patrol with a message thrown in.

What is the cost of social change and patriotism? Only 3 crores for an hour per week. My only contention is that if you are so moved by the plight of these hapless women, could you not humble down your price tag or better still do it for free. You are still acting. Your new role has cast you in the role of an instrument of change and you are playing it to the hilt. To top it you are laughing all the way to the bank.

The issue and effort are laudable, but let’s not confuse it with nobility of motive, which is purely economical and a smart move at image building. I would love to congratulate his advisors and partners on the smart move. Such shows die their natural death and a new sensational event or deed replaces it. Will Amir’s effort continue beyond raking in of moolah is seriously doubtful.

These causes need to be espoused as a long-term agenda aiming at altering the mindset of people. A lot has already been done by silent crusaders behind the scene, laws are already in place and we need to review their implementation. The silent unsung workers are the real harbingers of long-term change not these flashy eyeball grabbing methods so Satyamev jayate.

Meera unplugged

The True Motive Behind Sting Operations

Sting operations have become quite an acceptable way of nailing a person, establishment of guilt is another story. Every sting operation is followed by string of protests, cries of innocence, claims of doctored tapes and injured innocence. More often than not, the whole charade is carried with the motive of winning accolades in journo world, a quicker promotion, public adulation and the ego massage which higher TRP’s would ensure. Rarely, if ever the motive is public benefit or genuine angst against corruption.

Another issue which makes these operations suspect are the manner in which they are conducted. It’s a premeditated plan to embroil a person in a web of deceit and the bait is carefully chosen. The offers made are ever so tempting that most would succumb to them. It’s a well orchestrated and synchronised plan leaving the victim hardly any chance of escape or redemption. It reminds me of a careless invigilator blaming students of cheating. When one sets out to ensnare someone with a battery of gadgets and an unethical media, the outcome is a foregone conclusion.

Once the tapes have been aired, no amount of clarifications can wipe out the initial effect. The damage is irrevocable, often decimating the accused, the public ire has been fanned and selected pieces of tape, doctored by the perpetrators itself continues to play relentlessly. This cheap media gimmick has few takers except gullible public who begin to bay for blood. The deed is no less than murder, a crime equally heinous as it sure does kill the accused in more ways than one.

Are we morally right in throwing temptation continuously in someone’s face? Is not as vile as the deed itself. It can well be believed that the germination of crime was also the brainchild of these so called journalists. They have forgotten the purest form of investigative journalism which reaches conclusions not thrusts them or contrives to arrive at them. It is journalism at it’s worse,with scant regard for fraility of human emotions, the duplicity involved in the deed also takes away from it any credit.

It’s time the media woke to its true calling and with pure motives work as instruments of change. They have become like whores who sell themselves at every page 3 parties for some bites and connections who in return for such unsavoury acts help them up the ladder or social circuit. They chose to look the other way when it most suits them. It’s the duty of the public to not fall for such gimmicks and sift through real and created news.

meera unplugged

Romance – The Romantic Way

Walking down the college lane sundown itself was romance. Entering hostel at the brink of deadline set as time was romance. Being able to attend socials at night in other colleges was romance. Waiting at Patel Chest for University Special bus while surreptitious admiring glances fell your way was romance. A compliment, a lingering look which held a promise was romance. “Our eyes met” – this phrase was truly romantic , it was a heady feeling. None of these would have lead anywhere except in our dreams yet there was romance in the thought of their ever coming to fruition.

There was poetry in the sheer presence of your preferred person. One could actually hear the bells ring at the thought of a phone call or a chance meeting. The chance meetings were usually planned for days in mind itself and in the absence of cell phones were mostly result of patient waiting and helping hands of friends without whom love could rarely bloom in those days.

Lot of courage went in reaching the hand- holding stage which often began as a timid tentative gesture usually emboldened by a compliant hand. Non withdrawal was enough to signal acquiescence. It could be the high moment in the snail progress of romance. Romance lay also in the exquisiteness of the wait . A sense of adventure was experienced in shielding the ongoings from parents.

It may or may not have been love but all the symptoms were there, in those days. It rarely occurred to measure the economic worth of the other person or career prospects. It was never so calculated and cold-blooded and that made it so romantic. The sheer recklessness  and folly  of it made it ever so sweet. Too many restrictions and the idea of being able to conquer them all was romance.

It was a feeling so pure and elusive that it couldn’t be either worded or expressed. This was romance . It drifted out of hand like smoke. It left impressions and memories so intangible that one was afraid of ruffling and disturbing them lest  they disappear altogether  This was romance.

Meera

 

25% Reservation for Economically Weaker Sections in Schools

Supreme Court ruling regarding reservation of 25% seats for economically weaker sections is well-meaning but basically flawed and not in sync with ground realities. It is just an excuse for our govt. to wash its hands off any responsibility whatsoever regarding state of education. With more than 6 decades of independence behind it, it hasn’t been able to either provide even rudimentary infrastructure to govt. schools or procure eligible teaching staff. Their pathetic and woeful attempts signify a weak political will, corrupt system and low priority given to education.

In order to deflect from their poor track record, they have conveniently shifted the onus on to public schools. The govt. with its vast resources and infinite power was incapable  of doing the needful so how can public schools, with limited resources take on this mammoth task? The govt has already undermined education with their  implementation  of CCE which has effectively crippled our education system and now to compound it, they are they are abdicating their responsibility under the garb of  “social responsibility”.

it’s a failed govt. using muscle to improve its track record without doing anything to hold the hand of the same public schools whom they want to piggy ride. Kudos to Ms Anne Koshie for asking Mr. Sindhvi about govt. failure and apathy. He as usual mumbled and bumbled into an incoherent and off – topic answer. The worries and queries of Public Schools are totally legitimate and genuine and need both, addressing and redressal.

Raising funds to effectively impart holistic education, which our castrated govt. is incapable of,  requires both resources ane autonomy. If their hands are tied and they face financial crunch , then you would end up creating endless govt. schools guised as public schools. Each time they hike their fee, govt. makes a hue and cry so how would they cater to the added burden?

The hike would have a ripple effect and  would ultimately spill – over to the parents of general category. This in turn would be a huge injustice as a majority of them have admitted their children to public schools, not because they are plush with funds but due to lack of confidence in govt. provided education. Thus they undergo great hardships to keep their children away from them. 

The crux of the problem is our govt. itself so stringent laws should be made to bring policy makers and elected members under certain parameters to ensure minimum disparity. It should be mandatory for the elected members to send their children to govt. schools. This would hasten reforms and certainly create alpha govt. schools . No slackness, apathy or compromise would meet the eye. They would direct all resources to cocoon their kids in the lap of luxury. This would revolutionise the process.

The arm twisting of hapless public schools would not achieve the desired results but only complicate matters. The staff of the govt. schools also are a demoralised lot due to poor policies and worse implementation. This ruling is a cosmetic procedure without proper diagnosis of the malady , hence the treatment though expensive would fail to root out malaise.

The issue of ‘Integration of the two disparate groups of children’ deserves a separate blog and would be addressed in it.

Meera

Boasting / Bores / Brains – Thoughts on them

LETS BLOW OUR TRUMPET

• Those who have a right to boast don’t need to.
• A boaster and a liar are first cousins.
• The man who never boasts is always bragging about it.
• He who boasts of being self made relieves God of a lot of responsibility.
• People who brag about having an open mind should close it occasionally and think.
• The fellow who brags about how smart he is wouldn’t if he was.
• The fellow who blows his horn the loudest is usually in the biggest fog.
• He who toots his own horn has everyone dodging him.
• A fool tells you what he will do, a boaster what he has. The wise man does it and says nothing.
• Praising yourself to the sky is not going to get you there.
• Self praise is the only way some folks get any.
• Few people need voice lessons to sing their own praise.
• The man who sings his own praise invariably sings an unaccompanied solo.
• Success doesn’t always go to the head; sometimes it goes to the mouth.

          LET US GET BORED

• A bore keeps you from feeling lonely and makes you wish you were.
• A bore only stops talking to see if you’re still listening.
• A bore always lights up the room when he leaves it.
• A bore never runs out of talk – only out of listeners.
• A bore is someone who holds a conversation and won’t let go.
• One of the trouble with small talk is that it usually comes in big doses.
• Some folks are so highly educated that they can bore you on any subject.
• Usually the man who howls loudest about free speech has nothing worth saying.
• Too many people confuse free speech with loose talk.
• One of the best ways for some people to make others happy is to shut up and go home.
• A person who never makes a mistake is pretty boring.
• A speaker who doesn’t strike oil in 15 minutes should stop boring.

HOPE YOU ARE SUFFICIENTLY BORED. TIME TO STOP BRAGGING AND BORING.

JUST SOME  INTERESTING THOUGHTS TO SLEEP WITH.

Tehelka Sting Operation On Cops

The sting operation conducted by Tehelka on cops regarding their take on women being raped held no surprises as we are well aware of their patriarchal, conventional and narrow mindset. It did stir the nation into another national debate on prime time. What was amply evident was the intolerance they had for any woman who didn’t fit into their mould of decency leaving no scope for any deviation and individuality.

They looked boorish, illiterate, uncouth and only invited jeers. The reaction they triggered did nothing to palliate their now irresurrectable reputation. It was evident that none in their right mind would lean in their favour. You could almost pity them for what they are. I’m sure that media would do the rest- by decimating them. They will take several avatars, from monsters to rapists till unrecognisable.

Yet the profound question remains hanging in balance. Is male over active libido to be pardoned by shifting the blame on seducers woman syndrome. ‘What can we do if they dress like that?” Oh Dear! Poor you, you can’t help but pounce on them.’ What if there is cleavage exposed? If there is no dupatta ? If a bit of leg shows? The sari is low? If she is out after decent hour? ???…How will I not rape? Aren’t I being forced to do so? I’m the poor hapless victim of an enticing woman who will not leave me till I have done my duty by raping her and you still blame me?

We can’t gloss over the fact that several educated people hold similar views couched in most sophisticated lingo, including our dear Shiela Dixit. The malaise runs deeper. Several women too hold similar views and feel that they have brought it upon themselves by behaving in a promiscuous manner -whatever that may mean to them.

The oft discussed issue is that even a prostitute has a right to decide when to deny sex- it’sher prerogative and none can dispute it. Then what ails our men? I think that it’s more peculiar to Indian men. Are they sex deprived?- but our population tells a different story. I think we should outsource a research to be conducted on it.

In a lighter vein, we can again expect to see the likes of Renuka Chowdhry and Shabana Azmi to shout hoarse about the current scenario as if they were an expert on every thing and lo behold, a solution would emerge.

Meera

MALE CHILD MARGINALISED / GOING OVERBOARD WITH GIRL CHILD

As usual, we as a nation have gone overboard and in an over drive to protect girl child. After every census and survey, we frame some more laws, formulate policies, air some Barkha Dutt kind of shows and feel sufficiently proud of having done the needful.

Like all other times, we are way off the mark. We err again. To strike at the root cause of any discrimination, we need to spread awareness and create an equal atmosphere. Sadly, we have begun to harm the interest of the other half of the population , that is the ‘male child’.

If men are more in number, do we need to decimate them?- Rather we need to increase the scope to accommodate the numbers. Are we right in depriving them of their rightful place or squeezing their opportunities under the garb of achieving equality? Do we have to save one at the cost of another?

In fact the travails of a male child begin at a very early age. In Nursery admissions, the schools have given extra points for a girl child, disadvantaging a helpless male infant for no fault of his. Is he not  deserving of the same rights?

As of now, in Delhi University, the education has become totally women centric. The reverse discrimination has increased manifold. Boys are denied the joy of studying several courses for ex.’ Psychology’, which  is available in only one college for them and a plethora of options are available to women. Majority of colleges are for women only, the list is endless, whereas the remaining colleges are co educational. The girls have entry everywhere and boys dejected and rejected. You only have to look at the spiralling  cut-offs with reduced options.

I have witnessed a silent revolution where the likes of maids are empowered women , riding bicycles, calling the shots both at home and their place of work and their hapless husbands and employers succumb  to every blackmail for different reason. Though illiterate, they are second to none.

Among the affluent, the rise in aggression among young women is a commonplace thing. Whether on roads, in the form aggressive driving, or in the corporate world ruthlessly climbing the ladder unscrupulously or at home dictating the terms of peace. The men are in constant fear of being charged with ‘sexual harrassment’at the drop of a hat. The law has become a veritable weapon in the hands of several upwardly mobile women. Our laws tilt in their favour hence making fair trial impossible. In the unlikely scenario of being acquitted, the man still has to battle the stigma.

Repenting, after creating ‘draconian laws’ like of dowry law, serves no purpose, as you have already unleashed a monster. A proverbial ‘genie’ which can’t be rebottled”. Repealing laws, makes a mockery of them.

Women’s vulnerability sexually is oft touted as one reason for such measures, but our men also face sexual exploitation and safety issues which often go unheard or are mocked at. They are also murdered, cheated and humiliated.They also survive under great pressure of performance, status , job, package worth etc. whereas a woman can still chose not to work and suffer no pangs.

The thrust should be in creating atmosphere where human dignity is of paramount importance, then genders will automatically take care of themselves.With right values , the imbalance can be rectified but not at the cost of marginalizing male child .

We have enough Mayawati’s, Mamta Banerjee’s and Jaylalitha’s to leave us in any doubt of their weakness, so let’s do the right thing and work at valuing human life more.

Meera Unplugged.

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Thoughts with Zing and Sting

• Do something, either lead, follow or get out of the way.
• Choice, not chance determines destiny.
• Push will get a person almost everywhere – except through a door marked ‘pull’.
• If you itch for success keep scratching.
• Words should be tools for communication, not substitute for action.
• A sensational new idea is sometimes just an old idea with it’s sleeves rolled up.
• All men can stand adversity, to test a man give him power.
• When you are upto your ears in trouble, try using the part that isn’t submerged.
• You sometimes profit from the advice you don’t take.
• Advice is the least heeded when most needed.
• Advice is like laxative, easy to take , hard to predict the outcome.
• Advice to some people —- If you had your life to live over —- Don’t do it !
• The trouble with giving advice is that people want to repay you.
• Never give advice — SELL IT.
• Be careful when you give advice, someone might take it.
• Advice is that which wise don’t need and fools won’t take.
• A good example has twice the value of a good advice.
• If you want people to notice your faults, start giving advice.
• A criminal prefers vice to advice.

MY ADVICE IS, NOT TO TAKE ANY OF IT SERIOUSLY SINCE IT’S COMING FOR FREE.

MEERA